Salty Tweaker

FLAVOR PROFILE:  A&W Root Beer float!  Only this is the part of the float AFTER you've eaten the ice cream and there is a bit of root beer and melted vanilla ice cream left at the bottom that you drink.  It's creamy, it's a bit bitey and it's full on vanilla and root beer delight! Well, summer is coming.  Summer ar...Read more

  • $16.99 CAD

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Description
FLAVOR PROFILE:  A&W Root Beer float!  Only this is the part of the float AFTER you've eaten the ice cream and there is a bit of root beer and melted vanilla ice cream left at the bottom that you drink.  It's creamy, it's a bit bitey and it's full on vanilla and root beer delight!

Well, summer is coming.  Summer around the lab means experiments with cold things, edible things, drinkable things, and just an all over sense of unproductively in general.  It's hard keeping the lab techs in line when the warmer weather starts up as they all just want to sit back and enjoy themselves.  HOW RUDE.

So this year, to trick them in to actually being productive WHILE allow them to think they are NOT being productive, I set them to work on a cure for addictions in general.  I told them to make something that was SO GOOD that it would allow for addicts all over the world to get distracted by it and become addicted to IT and not whatever other substance they were addicted to.

I told them to infuse it with magical health benefits so that addict's bodies would regenerate to become better than they were before their 'other' addictions tool hold of them.

The techs got to work and created something that tastes like a root beer float.  Apparently they all love root beer floats and THEY wanted to be addicted to something that tasted like them.

However... after many weeks spent working on this little experiment, I came down in to the body of the lab from my upper observatory, and what did I see?  Every single tech, and yes, even our resident werewolf Mr. Pickles, laying all over the lab, drooling on themselves and smiling.  Sprawled out, happy, AND UNPRODUCTIVE!

I went and kicked Mr. Pickles and asked what happened.  He lazily pointed to a big vat of this fluid that said 'Tweaker' on it.  I gave it a smell, it smelled like Root Beer and vanilla and there was a note beside it that said 'we've done it!  we've created a cure for any other addiction!  Now the world will be addicted to THIS and NOTHING ELSE!'  There was even a little scribbled 'mwahaha' afterwards, which I assume was added by Mr. Pickles.

I, being highly respectable, had no idea what 'Tweaker' meant.  I ran upstairs to research the term and found that it was a slang term used to describe those that are addicted to meth.  GREAT.  Just great.  Now we have Blue Sky, Bitch! which they created as a tribute to the meth from that blasted show Breaking Bad, AND we have another now that also pays tribute to meth.

What have I done....